Thursday, March 17, 2011

Confusion, Thy Name is Woman

  Girls -- I don't understand them. At all. If any of my female friends would like to enlighten me on how to understand the feminine mind, I would love it. Girls, please don't try to be so mysterious and confusing. I feel like I'm pretty straight forward in expressing things. I'm just asking for a little reciprocity. That's all. You'd think I would have a better understanding of relationships and girls and such since I grew up with four sisters. Not so. My sisters tend to make even less sense to me than other girls, but I love them anyway.   
  I still do not understand girls. They are so strange. I feel like sometimes they try to define relationships way too soon, which just makes things mildly awkward for the rest of the time...True story.
  Dating at BYU feels very mechanical -- you do it because that's what you're supposed to do or what culture mandates. Maybe that's just my struggle with the culture in Utah. Maybe it's sociology. One purpose of dating is to prepare you to find/marry your eternal companion. In the process, you find things that you want and don't want in a potential spouse. That's why it's fun to date lots of people.
  I also don't understand the rush to get married. I enjoy taking my time with things, and I think that when something as important as marriage is involved, it should take time. Girls, it's okay to be 20 (or older) and single. Guys (especially RMs) it's okay to not be married after only being home for three weeks. Cool the jets, please.
  This thinking stems mostly from this two year plan I developed. It goes something like this: I spent my mission (2 years) being with someone constantly. I am giving myself at least that much time without serious/committed relationships. So far, it's worked out fairly well. I still date... occasionally...and make friends with girls in my ward and classes.
  There's this theory in sociology called the Paradox of Love Relations. Because society is becoming more and more individualistic and we have fewer and fewer meaningful relationships, we look for substitutes and try really hard to have those relationships. In doing so, we strive to find someone who will accept all of who and what we are. We let them see every side of us, every skeleton we've kept hidden, and every dream and aspiration. In doing this, we scare the other off -- we are viewed as too intense or desperate. We can't let everything out. Somethings are best left hidden. In searching for the idea of love, we come to find that we cannot have a perfect love and we slowly begin to hide who we are and what it means to exist for us.
  That's all I have to say about that today. The Paradox of Love Relations. Confusing women. Two year plans. Girls. You make no sense.